C8-Need It or Want It?
MINNIE: Mom! Can you buy me an iPhone?
MOM: No, you don’t need one, besides, your dumb phone is still working just fine.
MINNIE: Yea, it is working, but it’s working VERY dumb. PLEASE! I really want one! All of my friends have one!
MOM: No, you don’t need one, you know there are lots of kids in Africa don’t even know what that is.
MINNIE: Yea, I know, but I’m not an African! And I REALLY WANT ONE!
MOM: I said NO! You don’t need one but you do need to be quiet!
Contest chair, fellow Toastmaster, Isn’t that just so annoying… Oh, wait a second, it’s my mom, I need to answer this.
Minnie: Hey mom! Yea, I’m at NTU Toastmasters, in fact I’m in my middle of my speech now. Seriously, mom, ok ok, my mom wants to say hi to everyone. Alright, I’ll call you back later. What? What do I talk about today? Well, I was just kind of mentioning how you wouldn’t buy me the iPhone and how sincerely I was begging you to buy me an… Ouch! Aww, love you mom! Talk to you later!
Oh, by the way, my mom still bought me the iPhone eventually.
Back on the track, sometimes in life, when we think about the “need and want” question. We often think about our own self, but today I would like to bring you to another stage of thinking. Does it sound bored to you already? Bear with me.
I remember back in middle school or even high school, you know, the stage of puberty when love started to hit and it can turn a person you know to a total stranger. And I remember at that time I was playing the role of consultant that always have to listen to them complaining how their lover wouldn’t do this and that and give constructive advice.
There are scenarios like, “I can’t believe he talks to other girls! You don’t know the way he looked at her, you would be so mad too if you were me!” Well, “Apparently he can talk to whoever he likes, he doesn’t need to talk to you ONLY, besides, it’s only waitress. Just clam down!”
Here’s another example, “I can’t believe he forgets our anniversary! Guys never care!” Well, you know, he’s just too busy, besides, who will ever celebrate a 10-day anniversary seriously…”
It’s so easy to give advice as the third person, but when you’re the one in it, it’s a totally different picture.
I once had a HUGE crush on someone who I feel like he’s my future husband. But unfortunately, he was seeing someone else. Eww… Then I realized I became one of those girls, “I can’t believe he looked at her in that way!” “I can’t believe he forgets our anniversary! Wait, we’re not dating… I can’t believe he forgets what kind of chocolate I like!”
Those examples might be a bit too dramatic, but similar things happen in life too. Things that we WANT others to do or remember, we expect them to take it serious, we NEED them to give us the response that we want.
Just like this humorous speech, I tried to be funny and eventually I want you all laugh. But can I strangle someone’s neck and force them, “You NEED to laugh!” No! of course I can’t! But seriously guys, I do need you to laugh alone though.
So same idea applied to life! When I want an iPhone and ask for one, I need to know that my mom doesn’t NEED to buy me one. When you want your boyfriend/girlfriend not to talk to someone else, you NEED to realize they don’t NEED to. When you want your bf/gf to remember the anniversary, you NEED to know that no one celebrate 10-day anniversary, I mean they don’t NEED to.
As long as you get this, life can be so much easier, you’ll never be too hard on yourself, cause no one owes you anything. So when they do it, they do it because they want to. Remember, What you want doesn’t mean what others need to do!
Getting a bit confuse? It’s okay, once I heard someone said, “When you can’t make a 100% perfect speech, then just go ahead and confuse the audience.
So before I say contest chair and leave the stage, I want practice this rule I just told you, I really WANT you to clap your hands and laugh alone as I go off the stage, but you seriously don’t NEED to.