Yu-Tien Huang, C1, Confidence and Beauty

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Have you ever wondered how our confidence is influenced by our appearance? Today I’d like to share my own experience with you.
When I was a junior high school student my peers paid a lot attention to their appearances. I was aware of nothing, so I was nicknamed ‘a bun’ because my face was round then and still round now. I was happy with my nickname because it sounded cute. For me, it didn’t really matter how I looked from other people’s viewpoint.
However, on one beautiful sunny day, my mother brought up this topic suddenly and said “Daughter, maybe you are not a good-looking girl but rather a plain person with a plain face…” and then she tried to comfort me “however, you have an elegant temperament and you’re always an angel in my heart.” These were complete consolation words without any consolation function. I felt bad. I thought my mom was a bad egg. I think I should have introduced her a book “The Art of Consolation.” The first rule in that book is “Do not let your consolation sound like attack.” Ok , it’s just a joke.
From then on, I’ve started to wonder what beauty is. Deep inside, I believe ‘Beauty is only skin deep.’ And according to teachers and parents, to build up a better inner beauty is more important than looking like a princess. But when prince charming asks the skinniest girl in your class out and the photos we see of stars or super models consume us: the slimmer we are, the more attractive we’re gonna be, the precious words and wisdom of the ancient people don’t seem that valuable anymore.
So I’ve concentrated on how I looked more and more often and started to feel uncomfortable when making eye contact with others. Especially when people badly commented on my appearance, I felt upset and fragile. When my thought went extreme, I would be jealous and be as sour as a lemon seeing something or someone beautiful, shouting in mind “With beauty everything is gonna good.” This kind of mood is like a business cycle: going up and down within a fixed period and then repeating.
I’ve been exhausted and I want to deal with the problem. I want to be confident without thinking the god-damn appearance. I want to make eye-contact with others straightly. I want to figure out the moment I feel confident or beautiful at what kind of situation.
And guess what? The most impressing moment is being on the stage. When I am on the stage and know what I’m going to do, I feel confident and strong. For example, our night of economics was on last Friday and I had a dancing performance. Although I looked the same as now except some make-up, I was sexy and good. Also, last semester, I had to deliver a final report in one class. Because teacher and students would ask questions and it’s embarrassing if you couldn’t answer, I prepared very hard and checked a lot of data and statistics. I felt myself strong and beautiful as well.
The best moment in my life is on the stage. Therefore, here I am, being on the stage and cultivate the seed of beauty inside my heart. Quoted my friend: “the appearance and confidence are weakly and positively correlated, but the confidence has a strong and positive correlation to beauty with significant influence. ” Thank you!

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